Megalomaniac
by sirensoundwave
Summary: The Spirit King isn't as hands off and out of touch as the shinigami think. No, he's been watching and taking notes about the goings on in Seireitei, Karakura and Hueco Mundo for a very,very long time. And for the most part, he is unimpressed. Here he muses about his little test and the beloved family he misses so much.
1. Chapter 1

I need a Plot Bunnie Writers Anonymous support group STAT.

Yeah, I'm doing it to Bleach...

Okay, anyone who does not know of my Chaos Mages, all you need to know is that each fandom is essentially it's own reality created and maintained by a Guardian. That Guardian can create Chaos Mages to help him or her keep their reality balanced. These mages (and sometimes their guardian) are usually canonical characters. Usually there is just a light mage and a dark mage. Sometimes though, there are 3 mages or more. The balance or affinity is the tightrope they must all walk lest their reality unravel.

I generally use pantheons of gods or elements of myth from one or two regions to create the mages and their guardian. As such, I tweak them to fit into the roles I require. I also tend to include same sex relationships but not always a major part of the story.

But it is in this one.

No bitching about getting a god, goddess or concept wrong. Or about the story content. You were warned. Flames will be used to bake treats for the plot bunnies.

Incubus leads the way with Megalomaniac.

Onward!

*M*

This crap had gone on long enough. There were no words to describe how disappointed he was with Sereitei.

Kami-sama, Reiou, Soul King, God...so many titles. Still, the one he preferred was just plain Izanagimi. It amused him to no end that despite his rather eccentric involvement in his reality, the Japanese had used the names of his family and made their own versions of himself and his children. Dividing his name into two deities. And swapping the gender of two of his mages. Still gender as mortals perceive it did not really exist for beings such as themselves. After all Izanagimi created all of them.

He dearly loved family and wished things hadn't spiralled so out of control. Even though they had all agreed to be apart of his little test, locking away their memories upset him more and more as time went on. Still he told himself this was for the best. Without their memories, they didn't have to act allowing their true selves to still shine through.

Hachiman, god of war, the mortals had somewhat gotten right. Bloodthirsty and fight happy, the man could be wise but thinking took all the fun out of battle. Master of all weaponry, he favored the sword not the bow. The first impression he gave his fellow Mages or other Guardians was "brawn with no brains" who could work even the most zen of them into a battle ready frenzy. Causing them to reconsider that initial assessment.

Enmma was twice as manipulative. Associated with everything dark, his chief designation among the islands was that of lord of the underworld. Which he was in more than one sense. Not only ruling over the dead, an entire cult centered on him being the god of vengeance/retribution, criminal organizations and destruction. Rather fitting all things considered...

Enmma's beautiful lover, Kishi Mojin, hated the fact that his shinto incarnation was a woman. It really was understandable considering life, birth, protection and balance were his attributes. Generally pretty easy going, heaven help you if you pissed him off. He went after things he deemed unjust with single minded determination and fiercely defended what he cared about. He also had no issue chastising his brother/lover. Funny thing? His favorite food was fresh strawberries.

His only daughter, Kisshouten, enjoyed being invoked as a bringer of good fortune, happiness and beauty. Her infectious laughter and warm smile made it damn near impossible to ever be mad at her for very long. Not that she ever did much to prove that theory. She spent a great deal of time with her eldest brother who helped her develop her unique form of magic. The ability to flat out reject situations.

Baku didn't even get a humanoid form in human myth and legend instead resembling a tapir that ate dreams; something Hachiman teased him about constantly. Patron of dreams and restful sleep. Doesn't seem all that big a deal until one realized that also gave him great dominion over the mind. Deny anyone the ability to rest long enough and they go insane, body wasting away. In dreams, people are susceptible to manipulation even physical harm if made to believe the dream is real enough. Despite this power, he preferred to lazy about. Conflict bored him; only participating when forced.

Of all his children, Fugen Bosatsu was the most detached. The poor boy spent too much time in his head to the point that it worried his father at times. Though it gave him keen intellect, wisdom and understanding his ability to simply turn off his emotions was not normal. Izanagimi consulted his sister Gaia about it considering what happened with her own son. She assured him Fugen had not done the same.* Evidenced by the fact that Kisshouten could always make him smile.

The eldest was the most cunning. It wouldn't surprise the Soul King if the man had regained his memories early on (or never truly lost them) but simply enjoyed watching the game play out. Okuninushi was many things: healer, sorcerer...trickster. The blond had the uncanny ability to appear completely unassuming even to those who knew him well. Always looking for a challenge to his mind, Okuninushi liked to toy with others, especially mortals and lesser beings. He'd been suspiciously gleeful and eager to participate as well.

Last but not least his lovely Kannon. Another victim of the gender mix up, Kannon embodied mercy, forgiveness and repentance. Izanagimi found it cute that his zanpakuto reflected his identity more than most of his brothers. Always giving opponents the opportunity to surrender before ruthlessly obliterating those who would take his kindness for weakness. Known for his hypnotic singing voice, his delicate flower could make the hardest of hearts weep. He made such wonderful sounds in bed too. Oh how he missed his songbird. Of all his children, he disagreed the strongest with this plan. What better way to punish his father than to refuse to leave his side? Be ever so close but as unattainable as forbidden fruit?

It made him proud.

Sexually frustrated as hell, but proud.

Well, it would all be over soon. Just not soon enough. Sigh.

"You're awfully quiet. Were it anyone else, I'd be relieved." A voice interrupted his musings.

"But me?" He queried, pointlessly trying to hide his amusement.

"I'm disturbed." Came the blunt response.

"Maa, maa! You worry too much Tous-san!"

"For the umpteenth time, stop calling me that Ichimaru Gin-san." The blind ex-captain groused. "The stage finally is set to create the Ouken. Be ready to leave for the human world soon."

Turning on his heel, Kaname left his ever smiling cohort alone in the stark white hallway.

If he could see just how broad that grin was, he would have shivered.

*M*

Well? Like "Hands Off", I am unsure if anymore will be added to this fic. It's just a plot bunnie that clawed it's way out of the fence.

*In "Parallels" the Dark Mage Castor once tore out his own heart so he didn't have to feel anymore. It is found, cared for and eventually returned by Sylphine.

In order of intro

Ichimaru: Guardian/Supreme Creator - Izanagimi

Kenpachi: god of battle - Hachiman

Aizen: Death and destruction, vengeance- Enmma

Ichigo: Life, birth, protection - Kishi-Mojin (traditionally female in myth)

Ulquiorra: Enlightening wisdom, intelligence, understanding, intuition, long life - Fugen Bosatsu

Stark: god of dreams and the psyche - Baku

Orihime: good fortune, happiness, beauty - Kisshōten

Urahara: cunning, sorcery, medicine self realization- Okuninushi

Kira: God of mercy, forgiveness - Kannon (traditionally female in myth)

Yes, there is incest happening in this family of gods. Aizen and Ichigo (brothers) together as well as Kira and Gin (son and father). Unfortunately, as the only one to know who he really is, Gin has to deal with lusting after his child who is pretty much right there for centuries while the other pair have no such issue.

Reviews are like hugs. Sirensoundwave out!


	2. Chapter 2

Alright peeps, I'll level with you. Around the near end of the Winter War arc, I stopped giving a good god damn about the anime and threw myself into reading fanfics. Why? As most fans know, that's also around the time Toonami announced a break for the series and we were introduced to Death Note as a placeholder (it still rocked even though L dies T_T). Viz/Studiopolis needed that break to dub more episodes- apparently they didn't think it would be as popular here as Japan.

First of all, when has that EVER been the case? I guarantee if it's huge when released in Japan, it will definitely turn a profit in the states large enough to justify finishing the series dubbing. I can only think of two exceptions: Sailor Moon (what you did to the Pretty Soldier DIC doomed your ability to finish the series because editing made NO sense half the time. You didn't even WATCH THE DAMN SHOW BEYOND SEASON 1 -I can't even...ARGH!) and DBZ (FUNmation, by the time you got your heads out of your asses and did remaining dubbing with only small changes like covering up booze and boobs, most of your original fan base were adults who had already read the damn manga or seen subtitled episodes and no longer cared...) both of which were victims of oversight for the sake of cashing in on a craze. Then there's what happened with Inuyasha-

..wait, what was I talking about?

Oh.

Second, I found a lot of fanfiction more entertaining than the jacked up fanslations of the manga and anime I found when I initially wanted to know what happened.

In short, I have no clue who officially lives through the winter war nor what happens to the Espada or Aizen other than Ichigo whoops his ass but loses his powers (but only because of the videogame and fanfiction :/ ). Then there was the Bount thing and the Zanpakuto rebellion (neither of which are manga cannon), I was just outta fucks to give.

The bright side is the AU of Megalomaniac makes that lack of knowledge inconsequential. Isn't that great?

Shut up, I know I'm lazy.

This will be the conclusion to the linear progression of this plot bunnie. It may get the occasional one shot drabble update though. My plot bunnies are born/updated when I have writer's block for my real stories...

Small note: This song wasn't chosen to be about Gin/Izanagimi. It's about what developed once he gave complete autonomy to Central 46. Last chapter, we learned that basically everything in the Bleach universe is the result of him setting out to test the government he founded as Soul King.

Onward!

*M*

The last thing Captain Soifon remembered was standing over the dying body of her lieutenant before a wave of reitatsu bore down and forced her to her knees. Across the battlefield Soutaicho lay mutilated and smoldering. Then Aizen turned into the world's most hellish butterfly and...

Now she stood with the entire Gotei 13 among the shinigami left behind in Seireitei. Most blinking owlishly at the captains and highest ranking officers just appearing out of thin air. Not at all looking like there had just been a bloody battle...

In fact, her arm was fine. Whole and unmarred as it had been the day before. Comrades she'd seen slaughtered stood with her, equally confused. Equally unharmed.

Across the courtyard, the Espada tried to figure out what happening as well.

Wait.

"What the hell are Arrancars doing in Seireitei?!" Renji exploded.

"Shut yer face pineapple! I'm s'ppose ta be dead for fucks sake. How the hell should I know?!" Nnoitra scoffed.

"Yes...I too recall my demise." Harribel frowned. The Trecera surveyed her 'allies' and quickly noticed there were only eight others there. Even Tousen stood among them. Yet Starrk and Ulqiorra were gone. On the other side, she noted some were missing as well. Most obviously the Kurosaki boy. "What happened then?"

"That seems to be the question."

Soi Fon lost it at that voice. That smooth, charming, treacherous voice. The cause of so much suffering. The instant her eyes met his she let loose a war cry.

Utterly failing to notice his...um...changes.

"Jinteki shakusetsu, Suzumebachi!"

"Really?" A brown eyebrow raised at the enraged woman to whom he merely raised a hand. As she neared him zanpakuto poised to strike...she began to shrink. By the time she reached her target, he was able to casually swat her away with a bored expression. "Pest."

"Change her back." Came from behind him.

"Why? She's far less annoying as her Zanpakuto's name sake, ne?" An amused smile gracing his lips.

"NOW!" A tanned fist bopped the side of his head causing the man to chuckle and move aside revealing his attacker. Instantly, their audience tensed, expecting something terrible to happen.

Were anyone in a joking mood, shinigami, human or Arrancar, they'd have taken bets on exactly what part of this was the most outlandish.

No one dead. Captains and lieutenants, Espada and higher level fraccion. Despite remembering all manner of horrible ends themselves. Still, missing was Gin Ichimaru on the Hueco Mundo side...

Everyone, yes everyone, staring at each other under the bright sun in Soul Society. This was different than the previous issue because it entailed a basic physics problem. The central courtyard wasn't nearly large enough to accommodate so many bodies. Yet there was clearly a 10 yd divide between the two factions with plenty of standing room.

The appearance of their foe dressed in lavish black robes adorned with blood red flowers. He remained devilishly handsome but also gained a few strange attributes. Two horns jutted from his head near his hairline but elegantly curved back along his skull leaving with a small gap over his hair. Rather off putting pearly fangs and clawed nails as black as coal now apart of his anatomy as well.

One of the fiercest captains turned into a bug by said traitor.

Ichigo Kurosaki demanding she be changed back. Then cuffing him.

The sheer volume of his demand (everyone's hair blew back, faces caught in anime style surprise at the loudness).

Or what Kurosaki was wearing.

A rather feminine kimono. An irotomesode(1) to be exact. Thin white obi tied high and taunt to show off his thin waist and wide hips. White save for the bright blue and green flowers set in spiral patterns across the fabric below the waist. The garment ended at his ankles letting his bare feet show. His hair down his back as it had been in full hollow mode. This time tied in a loose ponytail.

"Must you always be so violent?" Aizen huffed rubbing his head.

"Must you always be so pompous?" The younger countered.

"Please don't fight. We all just got back together again!" Came a perky laugh. "Hi everyone!"

Leaping onto Aizen's back and waving at the stunned assembly, the busty Inoue. Clad in a furisode(2) who sleeves draped across the man's front. Deep purple, embroidered with thousands of shimmering multi colored gemstones arranged in patterns simulating fireworks. The massive silver bow her obi was tied in gave the illusion of wings. Hair pinned up in two buns.

"Kisshouten let go." Aizen strained to appear calm. To the trained eye though, it could be observed that she was most likely cutting off his air supply.

"Don't. Not until he fixes Soi Fon." Ichigo smirked. "He turned her into a wasp."

"Why?! That's so mean niisan!"

NIISAN?!

"Enma-niisama isn't known for being particularly kind oneechan." That voice caught the attention of the Espada and their fraccion. Dressed in a plain navy kimono, their number four casually walked towards the three. Gone were his facial marks and half helmet. But Ulquiorra remained as monotone, pale and emotionless as they remembered. "However I think Kishi Mojin-neesama is enjoying the fact that his husband can't breath more than the prospect of forcing him to reverse the spell..."

"Oi! Stop calling me lil sister!" Kishi Mojin/Ichigo snapped.

"If the geta(3) fits as they say. Or rather the kimono." He replied. The orangettte's face turned bright red.

"Do mine ears deceive me or did lil Fugen Bosatsu make an actual honest to goodness joke?" Urahara laughed as he neared. The only one whose appearance had not changed in any way. Doing absolutely nothing to alleviate the growing confusion all around. The fifth person to show up acting like this was totally normal not bonkers as fuck.

"Deceiving the God of Deceit would be an accomplishment worthy of a king's ransom dear brother."

"That's such a harsh way to describe me touto." The blond whipped out his fan, laughing merrily. "I prefer the word cunning."

Heavy foot steps alerted them to the next person as they neared. That and the light jingle of bells.

"Paintin' a stone don't make it no lighter Okuninushi. Yer a lyin manipulative bastard. Who taught Enma to be a lyin manipulative bastard."  
"Ken-chan!" No one moved fast enough to stop the pink wonder from attaching to herself to his neck. "What's happening Ken-chan? Whatcha wearin'?" Yachiru noticed his outfit was similar to their days outside Seireitei, simple light brown and somewhat ragged yukata. The Eleventh captain pat her head gently.

"Well-"

"Nothing that couldn't take place somewhere with less sun and more chairs. It's not like dad or Kannon are gonna show up anytime soon. Really don't care..." Starrk's unmistakable sleepy and somewhat whiny tone drifted to their ears. He stood off to the side, hollow mask gone like Ulquiorra's. His kimono loosely tied around him. The swimming koi and their dark blue pond were wrinkled. Looked like he'd slept in the outfit and didn't care enough to smooth it out once he got up.

"Honestly Baku if not for me, you'd never do your damn job!" Perched on his shoulder was Lilynette, tiny hands fisting disheveled folds. Slightly larger than a china doll, she dangled off him much the same way Yachiru did with Kenpachi. Of what could be seen of her, her kimono was white.

By the arrival of the Primera, Soutaicho had had enough. Tapping his cane forcefully against the ground, he drew most of his subordinates' attention.

"What is the meaning of this? Kurosaki, Urahara, Zaraki explain yourselves."

"Well technically Soutaicho-sama, you exiled me or rather Urahara Kisuke about a century ago. As such you have no real dominion over my actions." 'The Humble Shopkeeper' shrugged thumbing back at Ichigo. "He's never listened to a word you've said. So don't expect him to start now. And He..."

"Ain't explainin jack shit old man."

Scandalous gasps erupted from the shinigami side.

/Such disrespect!/ Rang in some their minds.

The Arrancar (as well as all the more likable good guys) had question marks floating overhead.

/So...anybody gonna explain this insanity?/ Was their collective thought.

Through all of this Aizen or Enma was starting to turn purple. His rigid stance times his sister's weight and position equalled far less oxygen entering his lungs than his body was comfortable with.

The whole time both orange haired teens smiling serenely at his distress. His supposed faithful servant not doing anything about it. Two large men clearly wanting to be anywhere else with tiny females hanging off them as well also indifferent. The blond looking way more amused at the spectacle than should be legal.

"Whatever! There, now get off!" With some decidedly non regal arm flailing, the second division captain returned to her true form. Sprawled out in a less than dignified position face down in the dirt of the no man's land between the sides. Unconscious.

"Man yer whipped." Zaraki laughed.

"Hmph. I'm sure if big red eyes stared at you with enough longing, you'd bow to Yachiru's will with little resistance." Aizen/Baku snorted.

"Ichigo, what is this? How can you stand so casually by his side?" Rukia demanded. She did not like how close that man was to the substitute. She certainly didn't like how that asshole's arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him close. "Let him go! Don't touch him!"

"Is the midget jealous? I have every right to touch my wife."

WIFE?!

"S-stop confusing them with words!" The smaller man squeaked.

"Rukia it's okay. Nobody's in any danger." Orihime/Kisshouten smiled. "It's a little unfair that daddy isn't here to explain right now but everything you all went through was just an evaluation."

"Evaluation by whom young lady?" The elderly commander's eyes narrowed.

"Daddy! Oh, you guys know him as Soul King but he hates that name. We call him daddy or Izanagimi."

"No. Just...are you telling us all the shit we put up with from that asswipe was a test?! What the fucking fuck?!" Grimmjow roared pointing at his former lord.

"You might want to calm down sir-" Yylfordt suggested. The fraccion fully expected the wrath of the man who would be god to rain down on his leader.

"Calm down my ass!"

"For once I agree with the sexta." Syazel dismissed his brother. He also ignored the glare from the blue haired espada. "You expect us to believe that?"

"What you believe is of no consequence to the truth." Ulquiorra/Fugen turned to face his 'comrades' briefly before looking the Soutaicho right in the eye. "The corruption rampant in Seireitei, what you Tousan-san were persuaded to revolt against, is unacceptable. Father didn't want to believe such atrocities could be committed by those appointed to such a noble purpose. Of course, such things as the Quincy massacre, ridiculous policies that persecuted the innocent but ignore the guilty and the squalor those outside these walls live in are just a few of the grievances the Soul King has with you all."

"As a mercy, those that died in the final battle were revived. You have our brother Kannon to thank for that. Father was ready to clean the slate and start anew." Aizen/Enma said. "You know Kannon better as lieutenant Izuru Kira."

"This is insane." Uryuu grumbled. "My people were wiped out just so some god could see how messed up Shinigami are? Everyone here has gone through some sort of hell for your amusement?!"

"To be fair Ishida they were just as in the dark as you guys until the seal on their memories broke. What they went through,felt was as real to them as you." Urahara snapped his fan closed then opened it again to cover a sly smile.

"Your memories were never sealed! Figures!" Lilynette hollered.

"Well, someone had to make sure this trial didn't turn into an affinity be damned clusterfuck. With so many variables in play things had to be stabilized somehow. All I did was make sure each side got an even distribution of power while remaining neutral myself."

"Neutral nothing. You have no shame." Ichigo/Kishin rolled his eyes. "My name isn't Ichigo Kurosaki. I'm Kishin Mojin."

"Kisshouten!" Orihime beamed.

"As you've heard, I am Enma." Aizen smiled. That less than trustworthy smile.

" Fugen Bosatsu." Ulquiorra bowed slightly.

"Name's Hachiman." Zaraki grinned, hoisting Yachiru up onto his shoulders.

"(Yawn) Baku." Starrk introduced half heartedly. The mini girl on his shoulder started violently yanking his hair. "Ow! And Hoshikawa*. Stop that woman!"

"And Okuninushi at your service. We are the Chaos Mages of this reality. Our duty is to preserve the balance, not play favorites. By the way, the Quincy race isn't quite extinct. You and Ryuuken aren't the last."

"Not possible. My research material-" Mayuri began.

"Quincy were originally the gatekeepers to my domain, Hell." Enma cut him off. The Kabuki reject's indignant sputtering ignored. "Wicked souls attempting or able to escape before their sentence was served were obliterated from the karmic cycle. Those trying to dodge coming to me entirely, were hunted down and drug kicking and screaming to the netherworld. From what I gather, the instant father gave control to the 46, they removed Quincy from their appointed post and forced them to the living world."

"In case no one's figured it out, that ain't where they're meant to be." Yachiru had taken to playing with Hachiman's bells while he talked. "Forcin em to exist in the human world warped their powers to destroy any spiritual energy it was directed at. Takin their ability to regulate exactly what targets were damaged and which were damaged beyond salvation."

"Father saved those souls supposedly wiped out by the Gotei 13 in the slaughter. That's why you believed them gone when so few appeared in soul society." Tapping his fan to his forehead, the blond man appeared lost in thought. "Speaking of which, I should probably go deal with that situation. Since father's probably, ahem, occupied..." **

A bright flash of red blinded them before he vanished.

"Are we late?"

In light of the last twenty minutes, there should have been no way to surprise any of them. Really. Making the face faults that followed the question ridiculously hilarious.

Materializing near the stone cold Soi Fon, Ichimaru Gin stood in robes similar to a priest's joue(4). Actually...he didn't look much different than his Las Noches garb. Still grinning like a fox.

Attached to his arm swathed in a peach colored kimono stood Kira. His face draped with a sheer white veil that did nothing to hide his very flushed and slightly sweaty face. His stance indicating he might have difficulty walking should Gin move away.

"So what'd we miss?"

*M*

There.

Any further updates will be drabbles.

I REGRET NOTHING!

irotomesode(1) very formal wear for married women (but sometimes unmarried ones too). Generally white or very soft colors, the pattern is only below the waist.

furisode(2) literally meaning swinging sleeve, this is what we westerners generally think of when we hear kimono. Worn exclusively by young unmarried girls.

geta(3) sandal. What bleach fan doesn't know that one n_n

joue(4) formal kimono for Shinto ceremonies. Preists are distinguished from worshippers by a unique black hat.

*Hoshikawa- I smashed together two kanji to give Lilynette the name River Star.

**The Wandenreich

Well, what do you think? Let me know guys, reviews are like hugs! Sirensoundwave out. 


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